If You Only Knew
by BloodlessAncestral
Summary: Its human nature to cave in to things you want.. things you need. But is it for the best when it will cause only hurt? Regret.. and the inability to forget as the guilt slowly destroys you.. KioxSoubi and RitsukaxSoubi. T for Language and light sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ: This story was originally on TeenageMutantNinjaSquirtles account... However she didn't know how to finish it, and I was helping her write it and she decided I should just take the story on instead. If you have read it (It had a lot of attention) Im adding more detail and more of a background story on the characters.. I do not own Loveless but I apparently own this story. - DeadlyBeloved**

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Chapter One-

"Hey Soubi!" Kio said entering the house excitedly. Soubi was slightly suprised to see him here so early, but nevertheless happy. The green haired artist pulled the red sucker out of his mouth and said, "So you know how I've been working on that painting? Well the owner of _Modern Arts Museam_ wants to use my peice for an opening to his new gallery. Awesome huh?" Kio smiled proudly and put his hands on his small waist.

"Thats great Kio, Im happy for you." Soubi said but absentmindedly looked over his shoulder in search for a certain...

"He's here isn't he." Kio said flatly shifting the sucker to the left side of his mouth. Soubi didn't like having Kio over when Ritsuka was, because the two didn't get along very well... And Ritsuka was extremely cautious of the two adults actions. Before Soubi could awnser the small neko came out of the bathroom in new clothes holding his back pack. He saw Kio almost immediatly and his ears flatened into his raven hair.

"Hey _Kio.." _He said but with an odd tone to his young voice. Soubi smiled down at Ritsuka and said, "We are just working on art, did you do your homework?"

Kio held back the urge to roll his eyes at the father like blonde. Ritsuka nodded and a blush crept onto his sweet face, "Yeah, I'll see you after school okay?" With that Ritsuka stood on hit tip-toes and pulled Soubi down untill there mouths connected in a soft kiss.

Kio grimanced but pretended to study his paintbrush as if it were of intrest to him. Once Ritsuka left Kio mocked in a high pitched tone, "_See you after school HEHE.."_

Soubi rolled his gorgeous eyes, "Things were getting bad at home.. He had nowhere to stay."

"Yeah like I haven't herd that excuse." Kio said shifting his weight to one leg, "You know how fucked up that is? Your dating a middle schooler Soub, _MIDDLE SCHOOLER." _

"Age isn't a boundry." Soubi said simply walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. Kio scoffed, "_No, _but jail is."

Soubi turned to face his best friend and offered a small smile as if he just weren't insulted, thats how things were between the two. Always bickering to one another but the truth behind it all, Kio really loved Soubi. He always had and it was so painfully obviious to everyone even Ritsuka, who became slightly more clingy over his Fighter around Kio.

"What are you getting at?" Soubi asked walking over to his collegue. Kio felt his face grow hot under his intense blue eyes but shook it off quickly, "I just think you should date someone your own age, not a 12 year old.. You guys can't even have _fun."_

A small frown formed accross Soubi's full lips and after a brief silence he replied, "If sex mattered to me.. I'd have lost my ears by choice."

Instantly Kio felt bad.. It was true, if Soubi had valued his virginity he wouldn't of gave it up so easily to Ritsu.. But its not like he truely had a choice. Even after Ritsu's constant 'Its clearly to make you a better fighter' excuses.. Ritsu had always desired him.

After a painful silence Soubi broke the ice, "Kio I like you."

Kio's heart stopped and he quickly shot Soubi a glance waiting for him to burst into laughter from a cruel joke but of course, it was Soubi... He'd never play with someones feelings.

"You... Do?" Skepticalism showed in the younger artist's voice.

"Of course, and I say this because I know that you feel the same."

Kio's heart fluttered, he had always dreamt of Soubi finding out.. The pain of rejection was the fear holding him back. But the way.. Soubi took it all.. He layed his feelings out so bluntly infront of him As if it were nothing of great importance when to Kio, it was everything, unable to speak for himself.. Soubi decided to ignore his silence and contenue.

"But I can't be with you, if something were to go wrong in our relationship.." He locked his fingers together and rested his chin on them, "I simply couldn't bare to lose you... You and Ritsuka are all I have."

"But you can't let that hold you back. Try for me!" Kio obviously over his silence blurted. Soubi was very use to his random outburtst so wasn't tooken aback.

Of course there was one other reason he couldn't be with Kio.. Seimei's orders were to fall in love with Ritsuka.. But then agian they never said anything about loving someone else as well, would that be going agianst his GOD? Or more importantly agianst his Ritsuka? He already knew the awnser to these questions.

"I love Ritsuka Kio. Please just accept that." He said gently. Kio looked unphased.

"BUT I LOVE YOU SOUBI.. And if you care for me.. You would take that risk for me..." Kio walked seductively to Soubi who refused to meet his eyes. Soubi tensed up immediatly feeling Kio come up behind him and wrap his arms around his neck, chin resting on his shoulder. Soubi swallowed the growing lump in his throat and looked forward.

"Are you willing to take that risk...For me?"

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Ritsuka glared ahead angry. Natsuo poked him once agian, "HUH?" Natsuo poked him agian, "HUUHH?" Ritsuka snapped his head towards his annoying friend, "Alright jeez! I'll go to Yuiko's with you!-Just.. Just stop poking me!" He rubbed his arm, tail twitching irratably. Natsuo had been finger raping the poor boy's art for about 5 minutes. Natsuo wasn't easy to get around. Youji and him exchanged glances and smiled. They stood outside Seven Moons Academy in the front of the entrance. Yuiko was bouncing excitedly, "Yaay! Yuiko is so happy! Were gonna watch movies and tell stories and play games and make-"

"Yeah sounds great." Ritsuka held his finger up towards her, phone pressed agianst his ear. Natsuo tilted his head and laced his fingers with Youji's.

"Who are you calling?"

"Im telling Soubi where I will be so he isn't worried."

"Ooooh, gotta tell your boyfrieeennd?" He teased earning a punch in the arm. Ritsuka's tail twitched impatiently waiting for his fighter to awnser.

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Kio hungrily kissed Soubi who was pinned down by the green haired artists weight, Soubi was.. Kissing back. He herd the faint ringing of his cellphone. But ignored it. Kio broke away from there make out and asked, "Are you going to awnser that?"

Soubi reached for the phone next to the couch and awnsered not looking at the caller ID.

"Hey Soubi."

Soubi's eyes widened at the sudden relization of the caller, he shuffled away from Kio feeling guilty. Ritsuka's cheerful voice said, "Im spending the night with the Zero boys and Yuiko.. You better behave while Im gone." Ritsuka teased, Soubi herd the sweet humor in his voice.

"Is... That an order?" Soubi asked, earning a heartful laugh from the other end of the conversation. He eyed Kio but fake laughed with his Loveless.

"H-Have fun." Soubi said.

Ritsuka glanced over his shoulder at the Zero boys, Natsuo tried to fix Youji's hair but Youji swatted him away, and Natsuo hit him back, and then it turned into a sissy fight.

"_I'll try.. _I love you Soubi-san."

Soubi glanced over at his new lover and said.. "Love you too.." *Click*

_What did I just get myself into..?_

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**So theres the first chapter, I added a lot more to.. I hope you like it baby (TeenageMutantNinjaSquirtles) I still think you should have kept it...Anyways review ppl3- Deadly Beloved.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Im back with Chapter 2 I hope you like it. Also Ive been sick the past few days so Idk if I can update i'll be fucking behind on homework -.- Time for the Spanish I Translator dontcha think? :) Review if you like it~ Enjoy.**

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Chapter 2-

I stared absentmindedly at my phone screen after hanging up with Soubi. I can tell something was on his mind. Maybe just adult issues or whatever. I sighed and leaned agianst the thresh hold waiting on Yuiko's parents to pick us up, and about how she's going to show us how to make jam.

I glanced over at Youji who was scowling at me. This took me aback, I was use to the Zero Boy's constant mood swings but never just flat out hatred. I tilted my head and he narrowed his eyes and stared over at his boyfriend who was innocently playing with his burgandy tail.

I couldn't put to much thought into it because Yuiko was now shouting my name to get my attention, causing students to stare over at the four of us.

"RITSUKA! ARE YOU LISTENING?" She said waving her hands frantically infront of my face. I blinked and became highly irratated.

"Yes, I'd **_love_**_ to make jam with you." _

She smiled and giggled happily. Her ride came and we all hopped in.. **_lets just get this over with..._**

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"So he's not coming home then?" Kio asked swirling the sucker in his mouth with his tongue. Soubi shook his head softly, if it weren't for Kio's extreme ability to watch Soubi's every movement he wouldn't have noticed.

When Soubi was upset or feeling guilty he'd stare off somewhere with a blank face, eyebrows slightly furrowed as if in deep concentration. Kio wasn't sure how to handle a emotional Soubi so kept his distance from the older artist.

"He's staying with Yuiko, and the Zero boys." Soubi said, nonchalantly.

Kio nodded his head and lounged on the couch, the only sound to be herd was Kio's sucker clashing in his mouth.. Soubi shook away those thoughts and curled his fists, more confused than ever. He know's the line between wrong and right but if it was so wrong why did it... feel just right?

It killed him, absolutley killed him to be over sensitive with Ritsuka, although it was in his nature to always be patient for the one he cares for. He wondered how many years it would take for Ritsuka to stop pushing Soubi away. Or if it would ever happen? When Ritsuka is a legal adult will he still wan't Soubi who's in his late twenties? Would he want someone his age... Like Soubi did now?

With that in mind he glanced over at Kio, who was studing his sucker fondly.

"If you would like, you can stay over.. Tonight." Soubi said, wondering if he had made a good decision just then. The green haired artist lit up and smiled widely.

"Sha I'd love to!" He said hugging Soubi who became tense. Kio glanced over at the gorgeous blond and thought to himself, _Im going to make him forget all about that stupid kid.. for good._

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"WHO WANTS TO WATCH..." Yuiko asked pulling out a disk from behind her back, "MY LITTLE PONY!?"

"I DO!" Natsuo said bouncing excitedly earning a look from his boyfriend.

"Not," He added. "I do NOT want to watch friendship is magic-or whatever its called.."

I huffed and twitched my ear irratibly, "Look your talking to three boys. C'mon."

She swayed back and forth on her heels poking her cheek thoughtfully. "Well Yuiko just assumed since you all are gay... Anyways we could just watch another movie, I have um.. Step up 2? Guys dancing shirtless."

I facepalmed at the steriotypical neko- despite my body gesture she put it on and we all watched it sitting in her pink coated room, And thirty minutes into the movie I decided that I don't like this and got up and left to the living room to read a book that Soubi had gaven me.

God I don't like this EITHER... I sighed and closed the book. Soubi was right.. I do have a short attention spand... I scoped the room studing every detail and little glass figurine on each shelf; and each baby picure of Yuiko until I herd a voice break the silence.

"So I guess you don't like the movie huh?"

I nearly fell out of the chair I was sitting in and I glanced over at the mint haired Zero Boy, his arms folded across his well built chest, tail swishing behind him.

I straightened my posture and blinked a few times before loooking into his crytal blue eyes, and I studied his face, he had a small birthmark next to his eye and in a way it made them seem even more sinister yet innocent. My eyes trailed down to his perfectly built jaw bone as I literatly studied his entire face.. Never getting the chance to before, If I even glanced at him he'd scowl or call me out for it. But his face remained emotionless. I relized how.. attractive Youji was.

"Are you going to awnser my question or keep staring at me?" He snapped causing me to blush immediatly. "Uh, I got bored.. So.. I left...?" I said not entirely remembering what he had asked before. Satisfied with that awnser he sat next to me, pushing his hair over one shoulder.

I sat there tensley waiting for him to just do something cruel like he usually would, like randomly pull out a carton of milk and pour it on my head. But instead he sat there scoping the room as I had done before.

"Were you.. Mad at me before?" I asked and immediatly he responded.

"No not at all." I couldn't tell if he waas being sarcastic or..."

"Im just, kind of.. Nevermind it doesn't matter." He crossed his legs and leaned on them.

I sighed heavily and left it at that, knowing that if I press on he'll end up walking away.. And I really want to sit with him, even if in silence. But I guess I had jinxed myself there as Natsuo walked in and grabbed Youji. "YOUGOTTASEETHIS!" And they ran (Dragged) back to Yuiko's room leaving me in silence.

Guess just another reason to dislike Natsuo...

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**Sorry it was short I wasn't shure how to end this chapter so... Yeah. Anyways review 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER...**

**AND IM DEDICATING THIS CHAPTER TO...**

**8SILENTWRITER8**

**Because your comment reeally inspired me to contenue3 Thank you nd I hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter 3-

Kio scooted closer to Soubi on his soft velvety couch, they were watching a movie together that neither of them are really taking much intrest in,Soubi on one hand.. Was thinking about Ritsuka. And Kio was thinking of ways to get into Soubi's pants.

Kio tugged at Soubi's arm desprate for attention. "Soubi, please just be happy." He begged with a seductive pouty face. Soubi refused to meet his eyes knowing he'd just cave in like he had always. Kio fussed and crawled into Soubi's lap, and it was getting more difficuly for Soubi to ignore the bipolar artist.

Kio gently nudged Soubi's jaw upward so he could kiss him, there mouths slightly brushed before Soubi jerked away, " No, Kio.. Please dont.."

Kio felt like a kicked puppy, and sure as hell looked like one.

"Look, Kio I just don't want to..." He titled his head and his eyes were big and innocent, he reminded Soubi of Ritsuka. And that was enough to allow Kio to kiss him without any sort of protest. It still felt.. wrong to Soubi.. But maybe he lost sight of what's wrong.. and right when he was in love with a 13 year old... _Or was he?_

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Ritsuka wanted anymore at that very moment was to get up, and leave. He hadn't really been to very many sleep overs (that he remembers) and he wasn't enjoying this little cliche game of spin the bottle. It was lame and only caused drama really..

"Ritsuka you go first." Yuiko encouraged handing him the bottle. He looked down at it reluctantly and then back up at the three neko's staring eagerly.

"Cant we play something else? Like truth or dare?" Ritsuka suggested.

"Oh don't be so chicken, just spin the damn bottle." Youji snapped, but with a playful edge to his voice. Ritsuka sighed and sat the bottle derectly in the middle of the three preteens and twirled it. They all watched as it slowed down, getting slower and slower untill finally reaching a stop the cap of the bottle faced torwards a certain mint haired boy. Youji smirked evily and shifted his weight towards Ritsuka who was blushing like crazy.

Natsuo blurted, "Ritsuka was right! Lets play truth or dare this game sucks c'mon guys lets go get the cards!" Yuiko and Natsuo ran into the living room. The two sat there in silence before standing at the same time. As Ritsuka began to walk away Youji grabbed his arm and pulled him close enough for just the two of them to hear.

"A shame isn't it? It was just starting to get _fun."_

Ritsuka's eyes wiidened and a blush plastered his face. He wanted to ask Youji what he meant but before he could, the little Zero boy had already left Loveless in a stunned silence.

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Kio grabbed Soubi and pushed him down on the couch, kissing him furiously and not giving Soubi a chance to protest like Kio knew he would. Kio knew Soubi had things going on and takingadvantage of him while he was at his weakest... Was a very good idea in Kio's opinion. Of course Soubi had never intended on starting something with his friend, but its not like he had a choice in his relationships.. Soubi was indeed feeling vunrable. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn't resist Kio.

**_Its to make you a better fighter, simple as that. Now stop crying.._**_Ritsu's words echoed through Soubi's mind._

_**I am your god, your world.. Your love. That is an**_** order. **

Seimei's words taunted, causing a breif pain of the reminder of how easily thrown away he was.

And of course there was Ritsuka.. The 12 year old he had hoped would offer a better less, agianst his will relationship.. Not that he didn't love Ritsu or Seimei.. He wanted to fill the void they left. Every "I love you" that Ritsuka had pushed away was a silent plead for acceptance and possibly healing.. But the raven haired neko didn't even _try._

Kio stopped kissing when he tasted tears and looked over at Soubi who was indeed crying. "Soubi..-"

"Don't please, don't even say anything.. If you aren't my escape.. nothing is." With that said, Soubi pulled him down and began things he knew he would regret...

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Ritsuka stared blankly at them as they giggled and held hands at there childish game of truth or dare. When Natsuo wasn't looking Youji would smirk over at Ritsuka causing him to blush... Ritsuka felt so wrong. Why would he even concider liking that sadistic asshole? The one that nearly killed his precious fighter! The one that always made fun of him, and his friends and constantly taunted and picked on him whenever he could... The one with the amazing blue eyes and that sexy crooked smirk-

"RITSUKA!" Yuiko yelled for the fifth time, he blinked furiously wondering why Yuiko was throwing such a fit.

"W-What?" Ritsuka asked, Yuiko huffed, "I said TRUTH OR DARE? God why were you so spaced out?"

In the corner of his eye, he could see that bastardly smirk across Youji's face as if he KNEW what he was thinking.

Ritsuka pretended not to notice but Natsuo said, "Probably thinking of Soubi."

"What? NO! Dare okay?" He decided not wanting to be asked embaressing questions.

"I dare you to... Lick your ear!" Yuiko giggled, while the three boys stared in bewilderment.

"Yuiko.. I.. Im not sure that would be physically possible." Ritsuka said, and the zero boys shook there heads. Yuiko thought about this. "OH..OK."

"Im going to go change.." Ritsuka announced standing up, he brought his bag into the bathroom and sighed heavily, taking off his shirt. He searched his bag and in sudden realization he said aloud, "I didn't pack any clothes.. DUR.." His mind was probably to focused on Youji. He cringed as that thought popped up.

_It was starting to get fun..._

Ritsuka ignored that reoccuring sentance and slipped into his shirt and walked back to Yuiko's room. "Uh, I left my stuff at home.. Can someone drive me? It will be so quick I promise." He pleaded.

"But Yuiko's parents aren't home and we don't have anyone to drive us." Yuiko said, her voice soft. Natsuo smirked, "Did you dad leave his mini van?"

"Yes.. Why?"

"I've played enough Grand Theft Auto to be aware of how a vehicle works." Natsuo said, grabbing the keys off the counter. Ritsuka's eye twitched, "Just please don't run anyone over."

"No promises..."

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**OH yes~ WHAT is going to happen next? Does Ritsuka go looking for his clothes to find more? Does Natsuo really know how to drive? Will Soubi come to his senses? Hah! Idk dude.. PLease review if you like it.. Also my phone is glitching.. I have to write all of this stuff by hand and some words are missing so i edited my last chapters if you wan't to check those out.. see if they make more sense.. 3 -DeadlyBeloved.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys im back with chapter 4, I hope you like it3**

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Chapter 4-

Ritsuka squeezed his eyes shut as the car nearly tipped over, Natsuo driving like an insane person, thats all he could do. Yuiko was clinging to him screaming bloody murder as the zero boys enjoyed them selfs on the ride from hell. He swerved in diffrent lanes, honking the horn.

"WOO!" Natsuo yelled, and Youji stuck his head out the window his hair flying in ever which direction. Ritsuka felt the car come to a suddent stop causing him to slam him head on the back of the drivers seat. Natsuo and Youji glanced over from the front seats at him and Yuiko.

"Yuiko, you can let go now.. " Ritsuka said prying her off. He got out of the car losing his balance a few times before making it up the stairs to the door, he rattled the handle and he facepalmed. Of course, he should have called Soubi first to keep the door unlocked. Luckily he knew where the spare was. He stood on his tiptoes and ran his fingers accross the top of the door before they stumbled on cold metal. He grabbed the key and unlocked the door.

"Hey Soubi, sorry i didn't call," He said walking in, "I had to get some.." He stopped midsentance once his eyes traveled to the living room, immediatly falling upon the two adults. Soubi was making out with him on the couch, neither adults with shirts on.

He felt a mix of anger,betrayal and all around sadness. "S-Soubi!" He said, instead of coming out threatingly like he intended it came out as a squeak. Soubi glanced over at Ritsuka and shoved Kio off immediatly.

"R-Ritsuka! I-" He began to go over to Ritsuka, but he flinched away, ears flat agianst his head, and then bolted out the door, running into the car, slamming the door shut and sobbing uncontrollibly. He could feel three sets of eyes on him, but refused to explain.

_how could Soubi do this to me? I thought he.. L-Loved me.. _More sobs came from the young neko. Youji crawled to the back seat to comfort him, Natuso was driving home like a normal person.

"Hey, Ritsuka shh, its okay.. Calm down- shh.. What happend?" Youji whisperd stroking his back lightly. Ritsuka blushed at Youji's kindness but sniffled. "Youji.. I need you to do me a favor."

* * *

Kio watched the older artist pace the floor debating outloud to himself.

"Ugh! I need to see him-No that would only make things worse! I don't care I have to tell him- Tell him what? OH sorry for making out with Kio when Im with you. Moment of weakness- NO UGh its all just so... THats it. Im going." Soubi slipped his shirt back on and walked to the car, not bothering to ask Kio to come.. That would probably make things worse really.

He gripped the steering wheel pulling out. He already knows where Yuiko's house is from having to drive The Zero Boys constantly. _Now.. time to think of an apology..._

* * *

Ritsuka glanced down at his lap, his hands shaking like crazy. Youji sat infront of him patiently. They were in the master bedroom door locked, Yuiko's parents weren't home and Yuiko and Natsuo were already asleep, that or watching a movie 3 bedrooms away.

"Are you sure Ritsuka-kun?" Youji asked, being extremely calm. He folded his arms but not with additude.. was he nervous too? Ritsuka swallowed the building lump in his throat and let the question rattle his mind, was he? He trusted Youji more than anyone else.. His trust now being gone from Soubi. He was so angry.. And didn't know how else to get revenge.

"Yeah, but what about Natsuo won't he...?" Youji chuckled and removed his ears and tail. Ritsuka's eyes became wide. "What the.."

"Me and Natsuo lost our ears a long time ago, we wear fake ones that move on their own to keep questions away." Ritsuka blinked a few times soaking this in.

"But yours areee real.. And you want me to take them..?I don't know if I-" Youji tackled Ritsuka kissing him all over, Ritsuka felt electricity shoot through him with every kiss. He let Youji take control, not caring if he lost his ears to Youji, they belonged to Soubi, but.. That was when he trusted him.

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*Ritsuka's POV*

I layed there for a moment, as Youji cuddled close to mee. My hand searched my hair for my neko ears, to no avail. My eyes grew wide as I relized what we had just done. Youji saw my panic and sat up, stroking my hair to calm me down. "Look, everything is going to be fine.. " No its not, I just lost my virgity, at 13. I felt panic rise through me and I slipped into my clothes.

"I-Im sorry Youji I made a mistake I shouldn't of lost my ears so young." I said, and the way I said it made it sound so little. But in reality this will affect my life forever. He tilted his head, his light blue hair falling over his shoulder and traling on the bed.

"And your saying this was a mistake?" Before I could awnser I herd Yuiko's sleepy voice. "Someone's at the door for you Ritsuka." Her footsteps disapeared and then I faced Youji who looked royally ticked.

"Fine, you know whar Ritsuka? Im not your friend anymore.. Or whatever we are. Because if its a mistake.. Then I don't want to ruin your life even more." He snapped ice cold voice. I froze as he put on his clothes and his fake ears. "Youji that's not what I meant, I just wanted to get back at Soubi-"

"SO YOU USED ME?" His voice crackled as he faced me, his eyes burning into mine. If I still had my tail and ears my tail would be wrapped around my legs and ears flat agianst my hair.

"Youji I-" He slammed the door and left. I felt tears roll down my face.. If only he knew how much I liked him...

I sighed and left, deciding that whoever wanted to see me can, I walked into the living room and saw Soubi standing next to the doorway, his eyes grew wide once they trailed over me.

"Where... Whherre are your ears..?"

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**And so THATS Chapter 4! Who do you think should end up together? Kio/Soubi Soubi/Ritsuka or Ritsuka/Youji? Review!**


	5. Hold

**Hey everybody.. Its Deadly.**

**so I know that you are probably expecting another chapter.. And Im sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. Im going through some stuff right now..**

**Im suffering Depression and Suicidal thoughts.. So things are pretty rough and I use to have a passion for writing but for some reason all of that has been drained out of me and I trueley apologize for the short notice. I will TRY my damndest to post in the next week or later this week. But intill then Im putting this on hold.**

**Once agian I apologize for the short notice. Im glad for the support ive been getting ,e thank you guys it really means a lot I love yall' **

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Deadly Beloved xx


	6. Chapter 6

**tHey guys. Its Deadly. I decided to do this chapter today because it was sitting all lonely in my documents half finished, anyways I want to thank you for the support && not just for the story support either it means a lot, helped me. :) Well heres chapter 5 I hope you like it. :) **

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*Soubi's POV*

I stared at him wide eyed for a moment, searching my mind of who could have tooken my Loveless ears. He folded his arms across his chest as if he were cold then said, "Why do you care? Hell-_Why are you hear?"_

I felt my throat tighten not allowing me to say a word. But even if I could I wouldn't know what to say. There really is no way to ever explain what I did without it sounding bad, and with the truth at that..It was impossible.

"I just wanted to apologize. I know it was wrong.. Im sorry." I said brushing a strand of hair from my face trying to sound sincere. I was.

He scoffed, "Yeah whatever Soubi. IM done with you. I trusted you and you do this!"

"Ritsuka I never men-"

"Hold your breath I wont hear it."

I felt anger course through me, "Its not like you would miss me." I snapped.

He glared over at me, "What is that suppose to mean?"

"Im just sick of you always pushing me away, and making me feel like you don't care, and just acting so damn neglective. I'd rather be with someone who understands and cares for me then someone who just veiws me as a fighter. You could throw me to the side and take on a new fighter without a second thought.. Just like your brother."

He clenched his fists then said, "The diffrence between me and my brother.. I would NEVER do that! My name might be Loveless but it doesnt mean I didn't love you."

My heart stopped and I took in what he had said. My mind so confused and my heart locked on on the past tense of his sentance. I glared at his earless self.. He couldn't of stopped loving me after a few hours. But obviouslly he has.

_Our love is nothing more than a command. An order. Does that even count as Love?_

A new realization popped in my mind.

"Maybe we should just date people our own age.."

He looked hurt, and angry with me. I felt the same way he did. Its hard letting go of all the memories so close to you and then jjust watching them fade... It wasn't like any other feeling.. It was utter heartbreak.

We stood there staring at eachother untill I saw tears fall from his eyes. "Your a bastard Soubi. I hope Ritsu finds you and.." He didn't finish that sentance. My eyes grew wide and he walked away holding up two middle fingers.

I grabbed my car keys, and left. If thats how its going to be left as... Then maybe it was right to leave in the first place.

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*Youji's POV*

I walked to the bedroom where Natsuo and Yuiko were. I slowly opened the door and saw Natsuo sitting on the floor watching My Little Pony. I smirked a little at him. The reason I liked Natsuo so much was because of our chemistry. The way we just know what's on our minds and we just 'click' together perfectly. But I just couldn't shake the feelings I have for Ritsuka... God.. I took his ears.. If Natsuo ever found out... He noticed me at the door and smiled.

"Oh hey Yuiko."

"Wait-Huh?" I raised my eyebrow and he shook his head. "Er, Youji. Sorry. Its been a long night."

_No Kidding._

"Yeah, Just wan'ted to check up on you.." I said shrugging. He nodded and went back to the movie and I sighed and brushed a strand of blue hair from my face, "So.."

"Look, Youj I 'd LOVE to talk but right now, Rainbow dash is giving a speech on friendship."

I mumbled profanities to myself and left the room, everyone is so god damned neglective to me, everyone wonders why I am the way I am just try a day through my eyes-

_sniffle.._

I furrowed my eyebrows and followed the sound, my mouth slightly opened in curiosity. I turned the corner to see Ritsuka crying out on the porch, his head buried in his hands.

_Just keep walking Youji.. Not your problem.._ ****

I followed my mind and started to walk away. _It is your problem.. He's upset and your his friend._

"Damn, I need to stop watching Friendship is magic with Natsuo so much.. I turned on my heel and leaned agianst the door frame. The soft night air tossed my hair to the left as I watched him regain his composure.

"You alright Rits?" He turned to me as I said this and shook his head.

"No, Im not. I feel like crap.." He brought his knees to his chest. I sighed._ Youji Sagan to the rescue once agian.._

I walked over to him and wrapped my arm over his shoulder and patted his chest. "Hey don't worry, things could be worse you know?"

"I walked in on the love of my life making out with another dude, went and slept with my crush, lost my crush's trust, lost my boyfriend.. And caused drama for everyone.." He said and broke into sobs. "How could that be any worse."

I gave him a small smile and wiped a tear away with the sleeve of my black turtle neck. "Well.. You could be me.."

He searched my eyes for any sighn of hurt, but like everything else I hide it so perfectly. I looked up at the clear night sky as the crickets sung us a soft song. "What.. Do you mean?"

"... My life is hell Ritsuka, I have no parents... No home. The only people I truely have is Natsuo, you and Soubi.. But maybe just you, Soubi only veiws me as a pest, Natsiuo veiws me as a toy.. And no one really understand why I am the way I am, Im not the type of person to be bubbly and happy like the innocence you and Yuiko hold. Ive been through things, seen things kids should never have to even think about.. And if it makes any sense, everyone always calls me that freaky boy that has no friends. But no one ever asks.. Who I am, they only make assumbtions and stick with those.." I turned to face Ritsuka was was looking at me curiously.

"I want to know you Youji, I mean you scare me and you make me feel uncomftorble at times but I think I really.. Like you.."

I saw his face turn a deep shade of red and he slowly leaned forward and kissed me.

"W-W... " Yuiko stuttered as she walked by the open door. We turned around and I glared at her. "You will not tell anyone.." She backed away and then ran to the other room. Mind control's a beast.

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**Sorry its short, Next chapter will be all KioxSoubi with occasional angst:) I hope you liked it.. Review please. -Deadly.**


	7. Chapter 7

**hey everyone its Kitten! I changed my username, cos I myself had changed with my struggle and IM now a new person~ and also a new writer! I have improved and this is going to be, the best chapter in my story yet. There are more to come~ LOVE YOU!**

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Chapter 6-

Soubi slammed his hands on the steering wheel frustrated, he felt tears threaten the corner of his eyes.

_Maybe we should date people our own age..._

God! He felt so stupid! He had always defended their relationship, because of there age it had made it diffrent.. Unexeptional..But he had ended it... of all the ways.. He didn't want to end this, not with Ritsuka.. He knew that because Seimei had ordered him to love his brother.. That he was the only reason he had to keep living.. and not join Seimei in death, Ritsuka was the reason. Forcing upon him bonds.. taking his kiss, taking his heart and he just threw it all away, as much as Soubi wanted to belive it was only an order.. He knew long ago he fell for Ritsuka all on his own..

_**SCHREEEEEEEEEECH!**_

Soubi swerved out of the other lane as the passing van nearly hit him, he felt his heart stop abruptivly then go agian in harsh uneven pulses. He brushed strands of blonde away from his face and released a shakey breath he had been holding, feeling warm tears fall from his eyes... No.. He.. Was crying? No! He refused to show emotion.. Refused to give in to the hurt he had been bottling inside of him.. He promised to never let go.. For if he greived he would recover.. and move on.. And he had sworn to never do that.

* * *

Ritsuka looked into the mirror for the first time, inspecting his new look, never once taking his eyes off his head, hoping that the ears he loved so would magically appear.. He turned around in the mirror taking a look at the backside of him, no tail. He felt... Strange. That was one word to describe it. He had thought losing his ears had been such a big deal when to him.. Maybe it was just a part of growing up. Though he felt regretful of whom they had been gaven too. He sighed and glanced over his shoulder to see Youji smirking, his electronic tail flicking lightly at the end.

"Wierd, right?" He chuckled sitting on the edge of the bath tub. Ritsuka tilted his head, deciding on the word, it was acceptible in this case. "Definantly."

Youji frowned sadly, saying, "Boo, IM going to miss that little seductive tail of yours.." Ritsuka blushed slightly and thought, _seductive?_

Youji sat up, saying, "When I saw it I always got sort of jelous.." Ritsuka eyed the mint haired zero in the mirror as he laced hhis arms around Ritsuka's waiste and leaned on him, whispering in a barely audible hush.

"I **_want you."_**

Ritsuka's eyes slightly widened at the Zero boy's odd change in mood, and then turned to face him. He had always thought that he would be with Soubi, lose his ears at an appropriate age, get straight A's, be a good kid in general.. BUt he had been feeling..Bad. He felt like doing things he never even thought of. He smirked slightly and in a low tone, he said into Youji's lips, "Well.. You have me.."

* * *

Once Soubi had entered his house, he was greeted by Kio, "HEY SOU-CHAN ARE YOU OKAY?" He asked, a little to loud for Soubi's likings. The bubbly artist followed Soubi into his bedroom. "Im fin Kio-san, The Zero's recorded spongebob on my TV you can busy yourself with that, I need to be alone."

Kio suddenly became sulky and whined, "But I wanna be with you, c'mon Soub. You can tell me what's up, Im a very good listener, see watch." He plopped on Soubi's bed leaned forward perked up. Soubi glared daggers. "Kio, please understand that I want to be alone."

Kio's eyes went down as he got off of the bed, murmuring something peculiar that caught Soubi's attention.

"What was that?"

"I said this is your problem, you push people away aand treat them like children.. Maybe thats why he left.."

Soubi's eyes widend in a rare display of emotion, He didn't want Kio to feel upset with him, or feel pushed away. He judst genuienly wanted alone time, to think. To regain himself. But it was hard with the conciousness of an unhappy Kio. So he did the unexpected.

"Kio, why don't you come lay here with me?" Kio lit up and ran towardds him, immediatly cozing himself into Soubi, nuzzling his neck. Soubi closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, stroking Kio's hair as his breathing began to slow. He thought about Ritsuka, if the bonds they hadd created (And Soubi had so forced upon him) have been sethered, he wondered about all the bonds they had created and hadn't even been aware of, and maybe if they had made just one particular one, that had needed no other, no words to speak their feelings and connections, what if they had that? He shook his head, knowing that if they were to ever form a bond as strong as that, he'd have to rebuild that trust... Soubi rolled onto his side and pulled Kio close to him. This is something he cannnot force..

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**NEXT MORNING**

* * *

Ritsuka stretched his small body as far as he could, much like a cat would, and turned to his side, aware of the rays of sun fliltered by Yuiko's pink lacey curtains. He was much awake now but kept his eyes shut, wondering how Natsuo had lacked to notice Ritsuka's missing Innocence. He slowly rose from his lying position and saw Youji's mess of mint colord hair strung across the pillow's, he smiled to himself and checked the clock, they had slept in till Ten. Youji's soft blue eyes fluttered open as he saw Ritsuka about to leave, and he said."Make me a sandwich bitch." Ritsuka's head snapped to the playful Zero's derection and he stuck his tongue out.

Nevertheless, headed on his way to make him that sandwhich. He put it in the microwave before bumping into Natsuo. "Hey Ritu-kan... Woah.." He did a double take and over inspected him.

"Where.. are your ears...?"

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**Ending sound familiar yes? LOL well I shall be updating Thursday :) I hope you liked this even if it was kind of short, what do you think my little unicorns? Did my writing improve? This goes out to TeenageMutantNinjaSquirtles who BUGGED me to update,REVIEW YALL**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey I'm back with CHAPTER 8, with the help of my hentai friend.. Christophar. :D**

**Chris:... I am going to take your ears. *Rape face***

**Me: o.o... *Runs behind Katie* Kat-san Chris is being a Ritsu agiaannn!**

_**Katie: Baka! *Chases him* **_

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Chapter 8

The world seemed to stop, this wasn't going to get around them. Natsuo's eyes wide and angry glared, making assumptions. Ritsuka felt a hand slam against his chest.

"WHO WAS IT!?" Natsuo, getting violent now was scaring Loveless. Yuiko came in happily unaware of the tension and had said, "Hey guys"

"WHO WAS IT?" He grabbed Ritsuka, and shoved him against the wall, He (Being a pacifist) was unable to defend himself against the enraged zero, he looked him in his eye and never broke away. Quickly Ritsuka grabbed a fork on the table next to him and stabbed Natsuo in the arm. Natsuo giggled and took the fork and dug it deeper into his arm, they both watched the gruesome scene as blood dripped down his arm. Yuiko screamed.

"I can't feel pain, neither can Youji. But YOU wouldn't know that- YOU FUCKED MY BOYFRIEND ILL KILL Y-"

Ritsuka ducked under his arms and bolted for the door, tears streaming down his face. He ran outside into the slight rain. He looked around the empty streets before choosing a path. He never meant to hurt anyone, he didn't mean to make Natsuo mad-And ruin a beautiful relationship..And hurt Soubi- No! He didn't hurt Soubi.. Soubi hurt him! He felt the blood in his veins boil. He wanted to run, run to Soubi and he absolutely HATED that.

_The feeling of his arms so warm around me, taking away the pain as he would wipe tears away from my face, saying that he loved me.. And making me believe it..._

He froze and panic over came him. He couldn't run to Soubi's... Because... Well the obvious... And he had to go home...

And deal with his mother.

* * *

I heard screaming.. And of course I knew what was happening, Natsuo had seen it. I can tell I can feel his anger inside me. He's my other half... He knows. The thing is Natsuo is incredibly good at fining out things... I stood up and decided to face him. What could he do? Hurt me? I scoffed and walked down the hallways and into the living room, it was quiet. I didn't see a sign of Ritsuka or anyone really. I slightly relaxed and continued forward.

**_SHOOSH!_**

I felt a sudden force slam me against the wall, my arms being pinned above me as I stared into Natsuo's face. I smirked a little, "I like it when you play rough"

"Shut the fuck up and explain yourself!" I felt his slam me back against the wall agin to intimidate me, I kept the cocky smirk on my face. "Okay,I'll admit... Your turning me on."

"I saw Ritsuka Youji-! Why would... You hurt me?" He asked, and as the foreign word escaped his mouth tears streaked his face. I clenched my teeth together.

"Natsuo.." He pressed his forehead to mine and I closed my eyes. "You and I... We connect. But we lost... "it".."

"Youji you're a fucked up, sadistic, bitch, whore... I can't.. Your... Fuck you."

"You beat me to it." I winked, not really knowing why I was acting like an asshole It killed me inside.. to see him cry.. I don't know what I should do anyway..

"And so did Ritsuka! God I know he's cute but what the hell? I thought it was me and you, till the end... " I watched more tears streak his face and he let go of my bruised wrists.

I stared numbly into his eyes.

So after the line "I stared numbly into his eyes" paste this:

"Huh.. Well you should have taken that into consideration, once you decided to kiss Yayoi."

Natsuo's face paled as an angry smirk crossed my lips, he opens his mouth ready to deny the truth, but I saw through him.  
I grabbed my electronic cat ears and tail that had been resting on top of my bags and said, "Unlike Ritsuka, I can handle fakes."  
I walked to the door and forced a smile, as for the first time i.. felt actual pain.

Ritsuka slowly entered his house, greeted by an eerie silence, like anyone else if you walked in, hearing the TV blaring a few rooms away and the sizzling of something on the stove; You'd assume it was a friendly inclement. Ritsuka knew better.

"Hello child, have you brought..."

He heard a voice but saw no knew, he didn't need to know who it was, he turned to the voice, to see his mother staring intensively forward the small boy.  
"What... what have they done to my baby?"  
She clutched Ritsuka in her shaky hands and he froze, not understanding why she had suddenly decided he was her son.

"Who did this?Was it that man who ha Seimei's friend?!"

Ritsuka shook his head and she froze, the darkness suddenly returning to her face, as she became the terrifying mother he dreaded.

"You... Your not my Ritsuka... Ritsuka doesn't misbehave.."

His eyes widened as she dragged him to the kitchen and slammed his face into the hot skillet, pressing it hard into the grease, muffling his pained screams.

"GIVE ME BACK MY RITSUKA!"

His world faded to black.


	9. Chapter 9

**hey guys im soo sorry it took so freaking long to update.. i have been so distracteed and i probbably lost a lot of readers.. but please review thanks..**

Chapter 9'

It didnt take long to get to his house, Youji sighed viisibly in the cold rain leaving the pale city somewhat murky. _It was worth it._ His mind said on repeat, and it was. Natsuo and him.. Well he knew Natsuo was a flirt, he always knew. But it was the hardest thing to exept, knowing him for so long. He decided he didnt want to go into detail and remorse eased its way into his unsettled stomach. Quietly he knocked on the door, as if it were a secret he had to be there. With no awnser he impatiently rattled the door handle, realizing it was unlocked as the door creeked open. An eerie feeling washed over his body as the coldness inside was even staler than outside. The tension renewed his dulled senses as he took a slight step into his house, calling slightly "Ritsuka?"

After an nerve twisting response of silence he took a step in, worry washed over him as he thought _Did he go to Soubi's?_

Quickly shaking away that thought that sent chills down his already chilled spine, already invisoning Soubi's rage over the zero for taking _his _Ritsuka's ears.

Stepping towards the hallway he herd his shoe connect with a liquid with an audible squish, he looked down disgusted, and realized that "liquid" was dark red.. and trailing up the stairs.

Of all the horror movies he had saw and or mentally experienced; was enough for every cell in his brain to scream run. Run and never come back.

But Youji knew that he had never been the one to use his head, because he listened to what was telling him to see if Ritsuka was alright, he knew that his mother was abusive, and he knew that whatever came was something he couldnt get out of. But that was just his mind, because hes feet were carrying him slowly up the steps, subconsiously he knew these thoughts were distracting him from the fear that was building up slowly in his stomach causing every muscle in his body to tense.

He stopped suddenly infront of a door that he assumed was Ritsukas. Blood staining the edges that slightly touched the floor and trailing up to the door way, wondering if he had crawled upstairs in a vain attempt to escape whatever was causing him harm, he also wondered about whatever it was was coming for him, or even watching. That thought caused him to almost turn back, but slammed the door open.

"Youji."

His eyes traced the room untill they fell upon a broken Ritsuka, blood staining the place where he layed propped up next to the bed, as if someone had placed him there to get him out of the way.

The zero ran torwards the injured boy quickly proping up his limp body while at the same time not trying to harm him.

"Did Soubi do this to you?!" He asked but Ritsuka was paralyzed by the pain that shot througn his small body. Quickly Youji grabbed the phone beside his bed and called 911.

* * *

Soubi furrowed his eyebrows be for suttley opening his eyes. The phone blaring in utter annoyance. His fingers searched for the pest and he anwnsered it.

'Soubi Agatsuma?"

Sitting up, sleep slurring his words, "Hai."

"You need to come in for questioning."

Now fully awake he sat up on the edge of his bed and slipped on his violet coat before realizing the number was the police station.

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**Hey guys sorry for the hanger buutttt im at school**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello all of my readers.**

**Okay so I know that I havent updated in a few months on this story.**

**You MUSt forgive me. **

**I just lost my father to Cancer. If cancer had a face I would club it.**

**I just wanted to tell you guys that I am discontenuing this story.**

**Im sorry.**

**I appreciate all of the reviews and follows ive been getting from this. But I have no idea how to contenue it.**

**I kind of am outgrowing loveless..sort of. **

**ANYWAYYS.. If you want this story. or want to finish it on your account. Just message me and I will give it to the person who wants it. **

**and then i will post a link to the persons conentueation..is that a word? on this.**

**im sorry.. agian.**

**so yeah..**

**-Darian Howard**


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